I Let a Man Cheat on Me 5 Times Before I Finally Walked Away ❤️🩹
Choosing Myself Over Lies.
I wish I could tell you that I was strong, that I had boundaries, and that the first time my ex cheated, I walked away with my dignity intact. But if that were the case, we wouldn’t be here, would we?
Nope. Instead, I stayed. And then I stayed again. And again. Five times, to be exact. Five separate moments where I had all the evidence I needed—text messages, whispering friends, a literal girl calling my phone—and still, I convinced myself to stay.
Why? Because love. Or at least, what I thought was love.
The Slow Burn of Self-Betrayal
Here’s the thing about heartbreak—it doesn’t always hit you like a wrecking ball the first time. Sometimes, it’s slow. Subtle. Like a leaky faucet you ignore until your whole kitchen is flooded.
At first, I thought, Maybe it was just a mistake. (Spoiler: It wasn’t.) Then, He really regrets it this time. (He didn’t.) And my personal favorite: If I love him enough, he’ll change. (He wouldn’t.)
Every time I forgave him, I gave away a little more of myself. I turned down the volume on my own gut instincts until I couldn’t even hear myself think. Until my self-respect was hanging on by a thread, and even my playlist had turned against me—every song suddenly felt like a personal attack.
Why We Stay Even When We Know Better
So, why did I stay? Why do so many of us stay in situations where we know we deserve better?
Because heartbreak doesn’t just come with sadness. It comes with fear. Fear of being alone. Fear of starting over. Fear that no one else will love us the way they did. Even if the way they loved us was more like emotional whiplash than an actual relationship.
It took me a long time to realize that I wasn’t afraid of being alone—I was afraid of what it would mean to admit that I had wasted my time. But here’s the truth: Time spent learning isn’t time wasted. And what I learned was this: If someone can betray you once, they can do it again. And if they can do it again, they can do it again.
The Wake-Up Call
The fifth and final time, something snapped. Maybe it was exhaustion. Maybe it was divine intervention. Maybe I had just run out of ways to lie to myself. But I finally saw the situation for what it was: a cycle. One that wasn’t going to end unless I ended it.
So, I walked away. And let me tell you, it wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t a power-walk-into-the-sunset moment. It was a cry-in-the-car, delete-his-number-then-undelete-it-just-to-check-one-last-time kind of thing. It was messy. It was hard. But it was necessary.
And slowly, I realized something: The love I wanted—the love I deserved—was never going to come from someone I had to beg to be faithful.
What I Learned (The Hard Way)
If you’re in a situation where someone keeps betraying your trust, let me save you some time:
If they did it once, they’ll do it again.
If they don’t respect you, they don’t love you. Love without respect is just manipulation.
Your worth isn’t measured by whether someone chooses you. You are already worthy.
Walking away wasn’t the easy thing, but it was the right thing. And in the end, it led me to real love. The kind of love that doesn’t come with excuses, secrets, or second-guessing.
If you’re in a place where you’re questioning whether you should stay or go, let this be your sign: You deserve more. You always have.
And trust me, the moment you finally choose yourself? That’s when everything changes.
With love,
Kimberly R. Vargas
Romance Author | Storyteller of Healing & Love
I can say, I finally chose myself.
I can say, I finally chose myself.