The Biggest Green Flag in My Relationship? He Believed in Me Before I Did ❤️
Who knew love could feel this easy?
Before I met my husband, I thought love was something you had to earn. That if you were good enough, pretty enough, patient enough, you’d be rewarded with someone who loved you back.
Spoiler: That’s not how love works.
But when you’ve spent too much time in relationships that drain you instead of build you up, you start thinking that love has to be a struggle. That if it isn’t hard, it isn’t real. So when I met the man who would become my husband—who saw me, really saw me, and believed in me before I even believed in myself—I didn’t know what to do with that.
When Someone Loves You Without Conditions
Before him, I was used to fighting for love. Justifying bad behavior. Accepting the bare minimum and calling it romance. So when he came into my life, offering kindness, respect, and actual support with no strings attached, I was suspicious.
This man looked at me—messy, unsure, still healing me—and didn’t see someone too much or not enough. He saw me as worthy, exactly as I was. And let me tell you, that kind of love will stop you in your tracks.
It wasn’t in grand gestures or movie-worthy speeches. It was in the little things. The way he encouraged me when I doubted myself. The way he spoke about my dreams as if they were inevitable, long before I had the confidence to claim them.
The First Time I Realized He Was Different
I had always wanted to be a writer. But for a long time, I called it a hobby. A dream. Something for one day.
He was the first person to call me an author before I ever wrote a book.
“Not if you publish,” he said. “When you publish.”
Excuse me? Who gave him the right to believe in me like that? To say it like it was a fact and not just some far-off possibility?
But that’s what real love does. It sees you not just as you are, but as who you could be. And instead of making you feel like you have to prove yourself, it makes you feel like you’ve already arrived.
The Difference Between Bare Minimum & Real Love
For years, I thought love meant waiting for someone to choose me. I thought it meant earning affection, proving my worth, or shrinking myself to fit into someone else’s life.
This man? He never made me feel like I had to be less. He never made me chase after validation. He made space for me.
And here’s the thing: believing in someone isn’t just about words. It’s about actions. It’s about showing up, consistently. It’s about making them feel safe enough to dream. Safe enough to fail. Safe enough to be.
If you’ve never experienced that kind of love before, it can feel almost unnerving. Like, Wait… you’re just gonna love me? Support me? Without making me earn it first?
Yes. That’s exactly what real love does.
The Love You Deserve
If you’re in a relationship—or hoping for one—let me tell you the biggest green flag you can find:
Find someone who sees your greatness before you do.
Find someone who calls you by your dreams before you even believe they’re real. Someone who doesn’t laugh when you share your biggest goals but nods and says, Yeah, I can see that for you.
Because love isn’t about struggle. It’s not about proving yourself or waiting to be chosen. Real love? It chooses you. Over and over again.
And if you haven’t found that yet—don’t settle. Because it’s out there. And trust me, when you find it, you’ll never have to question if it’s real.
With love,
Kimberly R. Vargas
Romance Author | Storyteller of Healing & Love.