This is NOT Enemies to Lovers 💔

Cute in fiction. In real life, not so much.

Hey sis,

I used to think love had to be hard.

I thought the tension, the arguments, the “almosts” and “not yets” were signs of passion. I told myself that the emotional rollercoaster meant we had something real. That his disappearing and reappearing meant he couldn’t stay away—that I was worth the chaos.

I called it romantic tension.

But if I’m being real?

It was emotional confusion.

And deep down, I was tired.

Where I got it wrong

I didn’t grow up seeing the healthiest examples of love. What I did see was that the women who stayed, who endured, who sacrificed—they were the ones who got chosen. So when I started dating, I thought I had to do the same.

I thought I had to earn love by proving I was loyal enough. Strong enough. Patient enough.

So I stayed in a relationship where I felt overlooked.
I gave love and didn’t get it back the way I needed.
I kept showing up, hoping if I just loved hard enough, he’d finally see me.

I called it commitment. But really?
It was self-abandonment.

The truth I had to learn

Love isn’t something you should have to earn.

It’s not a puzzle to solve or a prize to win.

It took me years to unlearn what I thought love was supposed to look like.
Years to stop mistaking anxiety for excitement.
Years to understand that peace isn’t boring—it’s safe.

I had to redefine what “being chosen” really meant.
It’s not about who fights hardest to stay in your life.
It’s about who never makes you question your place in theirs.

When love feels different

When I met the man who became my husband?

He didn’t just give me butterflies.

He gave me peace.

He gave me kindness.

He gave me a safe place to land.

There was no drama. No guessing games. No high highs and low lows.

And for a while, that felt strange—because I was used to chaos.
But slowly, I realized something:

The love I had been craving all along wasn’t intensity.
It was consistency.
It wasn’t fireworks.
It was home.

For the woman who’s tired

If you’re in a place where your heart is whispering, “This can’t be it…”
If you’re tired of confusing love with pain…
If you're wondering whether the rollercoaster is really all there is—

Please hear me when I say:

You’re not asking for too much.

You’re just tired of asking the wrong person.

You deserve a love that feels safe. That feels clear. That makes you exhale.

You deserve to be loved in full sentences, not confusing chapters.

One last thing, sis—

You don’t have to stay in survival mode to be loved.

Let this be the season you choose yourself.
Let this be the chapter where you finally say:
No more struggle love. I want peace.

And that?
That is the most romantic story of all.

With love,
Kimberly R. Vargas
Romance Author | Storyteller of Second Chances